I heard that little nugget in yoga class this morning, and it hit me like a ton of bricks…mostly because I’m no good at it.
I’m a glass half empty kind of person.
I play out worst case scenarios in my head so I’m prepared for any eventuality.
I like melancholy songs best.
And I definitely forget to count my blessings because I am so often busy striving for my next gold ring.
In yoga, I’m guilty of wanting to be “better." I’m on Day 298 fer chrissakes and when the teacher says “Walk, step or jump you way to the top of your mat” after forward fold, I still walk. And that bums me out because I want to hop or jump. I want to latch on to concrete milestones that reflect how much time and effort I’ve put into this project. But that’s not really very yoga like—and deep down I know that. What really counts—what I already have—is that my back isn’t in as much chronic pain as it was after birthing two 8+ pound babies. And that I've strengthened my muscles again enough to go running. And that’s a lot.
In life, I’m guilty of always thinking ahead and planning for more. Not more stuff (although I could stand a hardcore shopping day sometime soon). But more achievements, more accomplishments. I compare myself (incessantly. Obsessively) to my colleagues and worry about measuring up. But what I forget about until someone comments about my path (“Wow! Your first book is so important and meant so much to me!” I love those emails) is how far I’ve come.
So here’s a little list of concrete things I am working on appreciating today:
- My husband, who enthusiastically supports my career choice of being an underpaid writer because he believes the work I do is important, and because he wants me to be happy.
- My part time nanny, who loves and entertains and teaches my kids three days a week so I can work
- My kids, who are zany and lively—and affectionate with me even when I’m short tempered with them
- My mom friends, who have become my valued network of support
- Facebook and Twitter on the computer in my kitchen (don’t laugh) because they make it possible for me to be a part-time stay at home mom but stay connected to pop culture and important, hot shot thinkers
- And my daily 75 minute trips to the yoga mat, which is where I actually get to process all these thoughts…
What about you? Are you appreciating what you’ve already got?