Day 333: Settle Into How You Are

Read the writing on the sidewalkI'm actually on day 338 today.  But this is what went down last week.

"Settle into how you are," said the teacher at the beginning of class.  

Which I did (wellll, tried to.  Because it's not really something one can start and finish just like that...snap.....but let me jump ahead a sec to when I got back from class and tweeted my daily mantra (find all my tweets right here).  

Seconds after pressing Send, a follower tweeted back saying "Funny. I thought you wrote 'Settle Into *Who* You Are!'" Which is actually just as important, no?

So, how am I?  Who am I?  And am I at peace with it all?

 As for *who*, I won't bore you with details about my personality and resumé, but I will tell you this:  There's a handful of things I like about myself...and a smaller bunch of things (accomplishments, work achievements etc) that I'm really proud of  am.  So yeah, I'm pretty much okay with who I'm growing into.

But when it comes to *how* I am.... ugh.  *How* depends on the day, the amount of sleep I've gotten, the weather, if my kids eat the food I've prepped, how many times I need to get on the floor and sweep up in a twelve hour period, if my hair looks good and many other details (both in and out of my control).  *How* asks me to assess my own actions and "grade" myself.  *How* requires that I look into myself and honestly ascertain if I'm giving my all, being as nice as I can be and making a difference.  And for me to "settle" into all that would mean that I'd have to be satisfied with how I am, at least most of the time.  Otherwise, the mantra of settling into how I am seems like a total copout.  Like an invitation to explain away evil and lameness. (Hey, that's just me.  Get over it.  I did).   

So, I'm all for settling further into *who* I am, because yeah, that *is* just me. As for how I am, I don't want to settle at all.   Because I'm just not satisfied yet....