So the topic at the end of last month was Busy-ness...and how it relates to (or detracts from) our happiness as mothers.
The upshot of the conversation was that yes, we are too busy and that no one (not husbands or even our own mothers) seems to understand just how much so. Our group basically agreed that we don't have the time to take care of the kids as well as we'd like in addition to taking care of the home and the other details of our lives. And ourselves? Yeah, no.
So what does that mean? Because when I write that out, it makes us seem like a particularly whiny bunch. But yet, I don't think we are. I actually think we're pretty typical of many moms today who had or have careers, who are educated, accomplished and want to hang on to some of that as we raise families.
The topic: Happiness...how to find it, what it is once you've become a mom and how it's different from before.
We started, as always, by going around the table and sharing something about ourselves from before we became moms--something that defined us before we became known as "Taylor's Mom" and "Ollie's Mom" etc.
I spend a lot of time (like, a lot) talking about Mom Issues. In fact, almost not a day goes by when I don't spend a significant amount of time hashing out current sleep patterns, the consistency of poop and how to make Oliver scream less during bath time so that the neighbors don't report us to Child Services.... ("We were just shampooing his hair, Officer. I swear.")
It can get boring. In fact, I get bored of hearing myself yammer on. But what I don't get bored of is knowing that other moms are dealing with the exact same shit. So in September 2009, I started a Moms Group. We meet once a month at a restaurant to discuss a timely topic (chosen by moi) and then digress into harping on bad celebrity baby names (because Bella Luna and the like are just plain dumb). We also offer each other support, perspective and good cheer. Bascially, it's kinda like a Book Club, only without the books.
So why you should start one? Oh, I don't know... to remind yourself that you're not alone and that other women might possibly love and sometimes hate (yes, hate. I wrote that. Hey, it's my blog.) they're new lives as parents as much as you do? It also ensures you get out of the house at least one night a month.